For Your Amusement

A friend sent this the other day and it made me laugh. Enjoy!


We've decided we're leaving.
We intend to form our own
country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,
Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and
all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial
to the nation, and especially to the people of the new
country of New California.
To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma, and all the slave
states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America 's venture
capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get
to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent
lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of
happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be
pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our
citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people
to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're
apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose,
and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
children's caskets coming home. We do wish you
success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but
we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm
control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more
than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent
of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's
quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners),
90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech
industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living
redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven
Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to
cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their
projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S.
mosquitoes, nearly 100percent of the tornadoes, 90
percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern
Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists,
Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the
University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe
Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe
life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or
gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory,
53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent
of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher
morals then we lefties. Wow...takes your breath away..........
By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have
that dirt weed they grow in Mexico .
Peace out,
Blue States