Thoughts on Infidelity

Salon has a new reader forum called Open Salon. I haven't poked around much, but apparently readers can post things, etc. sort of like an open blog. Salon editor Joan Walsh was digesting the John Edwards news and referenced something from Open Salon that was posted by a woman whose husband was a cancer survivor. This lady's comments, as someone who has dealt with that kind of emotional upheaval and trauma, made me re-evaluate my thoughts on Edwards. I am still pissed as hell, but perhaps my expectations are too high. [After all my horoscope yesterday told me to "Let go of idealistic notions about how people should behave."]

An excerpt:

"Both partners may be just sick to death of sickness. And that's the first thing my husband said when I mentioned John Edwards' confession. He said, maybe Edwards had an affair because he just wanted things to be normal again. Maybe he was tired of cancer and treatment.

"My first thought was that maybe one or both of them just couldn't see a way to reconnect erotically after breast cancer. Speaking only for myself again, when I had a scare with an unclear mammogram -- one that took months to clear up -- I felt profoundly alienated from my body as a source of pleasure. And I didn't even have cancer, just a bad case of paranoia!

"Maybe having an affair when your spouse has just faced down mortality is a way of affirming your own survival. Maybe it's a form of denial about your partner's mortality, and your own. This might be just an extension of the stereotypical mid-life crisis -- but cranked up to eleven.

"And maybe, with the pressures of raising two young kids and running for president the Edwards[es] just hadn't yet figured out how to be a couple together again. My husband and I struggled enough, and we only had two little kids and a couple of university jobs.

"In the end, why John Edwards strayed will remain a mystery to everyone outside his family, and that's only right. They deserve their privacy. Elizabeth has asked for privacy as they work through this. A marriage should remain a mystery to everyone outside it."

Infidelity in the News

I am equal parts outraged and saddened at the news that John Edwards did in fact have an affair several years ago.

Not only did I truly admire the man, but his wife has proven to be an inspiration and to see her spirit and devotion to him and their shared causes disrespected in such an appalling manner truly shakes my belief in the goodness of people.

I can't imagine what Edwards was thinking that justified such actions and I am heart sick that on top of her illness and the tragedy of her son, Wade's death, Elizabeth Edwards has had to also deal with infidelity. Her decision to stay with her husband is hers alone and I make no judgements on that. My disdain is reserved exclusively for her husband. I am not sure I will be able to so quickly forgive or forget.

Spay or Neuter

Please remember to have your pets politicians spayed or neutered.

Really people? Can't any of these people keep it in their pants? New York's newest governor, David Paterson has come out saying that he (and his wife) both had extramarital affairs during a rough patch in the marriage back in the late nineties, early aughts. I get that he feels like he has to be upfront about this or risk "exposure" later for it. That is sad enough, but I guess I am just dismayed that yet again, a politician has shown a lack of moral fiber. (Why can't there be a moral fiber cereal that is good for your soul and not just your colon? They invent everything else, why not this?)

Perhaps sadder still is the fact that while yes, this man broke his marriage vows and cheated (as did his wife) they moved past it and have continued in their marriage. That is admirable, I have to admit. Although now of course they have to relive that pain of betrayal all over again.

Athough I am looking forward to the day that we get to see the role reversal that Sam Bee parodied on The Daily Show (The Shame Parade) last week. Ah, now that is a feminist manifesto!

Jimminy crickets—I know I am going to come off like a conservative here folks (although the GOP isn't exactly the best when it comes to keeping true to the spouse), but can't we just try to pay attention to that whole idea that you are supposed to be true to your husband or wife? God knows I like to be flirted with as much as the next girl, but there is a line you don't cross and trust me, you know when you are on the verge of squidging that little toe across that line, much less throwing your naked bum over it.

There, moral lesson over. Go back to your normally scheduled debauchery.

Mac Mashes, Take 2

While I wish I could say that I have avoided following up on 

the previous post due to the ickiness of imaging a 60-something John McCain getting it on with a 40-something lobbyist, I have just been too busy to devote any time to the beloved blog. Shed a tear for my neglectfulness and then let's get into it.

McCain and the lobbyist chick (Vicki Iseman) have denied any hanky panky occurred. But Chuck Todd raised an interesting point last night on Olbermann, the NY Times isn't exactly the Star or even USWeekly, so is it possible that they know more than they are letting on in the article (out of good taste)? What I think Todd was getting at, is it doesn't seem that the NY Times would run something so rumor-based if they didn't have a bit more to go on than that. Who knows, only time will tell in that regard.

But my first question is this: McCain's wife is pretty freakin' hot. Now I know that she has had her problems in the past. In fact if I remember correctly, her bout with prescription drug abuse came out around the time of the 2000 election when the alleged affair also occurred. Maybe there is a link there, maybe not. Back to my question. Cindy McCain is pretty smoking hot, full-on MILF, so what the heck could 'ole Mac have been thinking if all of this is true. (Let us hope that the photo of Iseman, left, is unfortunate and not how she really looks.)

My second question is how is the GOP going to take this, true or not? This, after all, is the same party that wanted Bill Clinton's head on a platter for getting a BJ from an intern. And that was someone from their opposing party. Here you have the possibility of a potential future president not only committing adultery, but doing it with a paid political operative. Frankly, that seems to me to be a bit of a bigger problem. An affair, that is something between a husband and wife to resolve in my opinion, not something up for public discussion. But the influence peddling that could result from a lobbyist getting "jiggy" with the prez? Ooh la la.

What do you all think? Issue or non-issue? And will the Republicans protect their own?

Mac Mashes

BREAKING NEWS

The MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann via The NY Times is reporting that McCain was having an affair with a lobbyist back during the 2000 election.

More to come . . .