Me? Angry?

Why yeah, maybe I am. So if Dubya wants to consider me a member of the angry left, I will cop to that.

But enough about me . . . on to the GOP. I feel like I have just been through some sort of right re-orientation effort. I watched Bush's taped speech (dude stuck to the script and didn't sound too stupid, for once, but it wasn't exactly the Gettysburg Address), then Fred Thompson (had to bring an actor in to sell the lines I suppose and yes, I have always longed for my VP to know how to field dress a moose, that should come in handy). Of course the crux of Thompson's speech was detailing McCain's history, particularly his war injuries and his time as a prisoner of war. He told some cutesy stories about McCain being a rebel and troublemaker at the Naval Academy. I guess I am just over it. I admit I am not the most objective at this point, but I am SO tired of having his military service rammed down my throat. Yes, he served; yes he was a prisoner of war; but there are a lot of men walking our streets today who served and our country has neglected them. So don't hold up McCain like he is something special.

Ah Joe Lieberman—no dude you really hurt me and if you are a member of my larger family I would make you sit outside at Thanksgiving and eat in the cold.  Last I checked you were an "independent," not a democrat. And for God's sake Joe, stop giggling. Then he spoke directly to me and "my anger." Nope, not thinking of voting for McCain. Yep, never voted for a Republican for President. Yep, no ordinary election. Nope, McCain strikes me as an ordinary candidate. And don't worry Joe I WILL be voting for the person I believe is best for our country and that person continues to be a democrat.

Ok Mike, what you got for me? There it is, that twinkly charm! I do hate to cop to any of you GOP-ers being charming. And then you had to go and slam Madonna. Not cool, dude. Chick is 50 and still has it. Next the Huckster tried to co-op the word change and scare people with "European" ideas (quite the pop culture icon too, referring to Obama's European trip as his excellent adventure). Yep, I find those terrifying myself. But not as terrifying as Lava soap. Or your testament that Republicans are hands dirty, up by their bootstraps, heavy laborers that wouldn't dream of asking for any help EVER from the federal government. And good, god damn, again with McCain's inability to lift his arms above his head, you and Thompson should have discussed which one was going to harp on that nugget in advance.

Up next, Rudy Giuliani. Shocker, they put the skyline of NYC behind him—nice touch. I thought is was especially classy when Giuliani mocked Obama's experience as a community organizer, like that is somehow akin to being an idiot or slacker. And again with the snickery laughing. Do they teach that in young Republican school? 

Rudy harped on Obama being the least experienced candidate saying he has led "nada." How many senators have gone on to become presidents in our country exactly? Seven. Do you consider that none of those led anything? But less than two years as governor of a state with a population (670,000) that is less than the state of Rhode Island's (just over 1 million) qualifies you? "Change is not a destination, just as hope is not a strategy." But giving grannies heart attacks in their tapioca that some "Islamofacist" is coming to get them, that's a sound way to campaign? "Drill Baby, Drill." Yes Rudy it is INCORRECT to say Islamic terrorism. Not all followers of Islam are terrorist and it is unfair to paint the entire religion with that brush. No that is a chant folks! It amazes me that the GOP thinks that there is a victory to be had out there against terrorists. Pompous blow hole. If Palin represents a new generation, what does Obama represent who is only a couple of years older? Hold me back, she has been a mayor of a VERY small town; but this condescension towards Obama is beyond distasteful. Talk about his record, his experience, whatever, but you don't have to be snotty about it. If the facts aren't enough, then maybe he is a good candidate and your's isn't. Excuse me, I need go vomit while Rudy gets sanctimonious about the anti-sexism the GOP demonstrates. And I have a bridge to nowhere in Alaska that I can sell you.

But the biggest shocker of all? He only mentioned September 11th one time. They must have attached electrodes to his balls and threatened to shock him if he said it too many times. 

I think Palin's little ditty deserves its own post. The brain washing continues, damn my head is starting to hurt. Next!

Rudy, Tooty, Fresh and Fruity

Looking forward to Tuesday in Florida:

Giuliani has put all his egg's into Florida's pan handle (yes that metaphor just really broke down) and it is looking more and more like those eggs are going to end up fried (yep, there we go back on track).

Frankly, I couldn't be happier. Between the dude's heavy eyeliner in a recent interview with George Stephanopoulos (check it out for yourself—click on the Watch Political Videos near the bottom of the page) and his general desire to scare the beejeesus out of us with threats of terrorists around the corner, I will be altogether too happy to see the man go back to his bat cave.

If Florida finishes off Rudy, that leaves us with Romney (used car salesman), Huckabee (religious freak) and McCain (Bush lapdog who just Sunday warned us that "There's going to be other wars . . . I'm sorry to tell you, there's going to be other wars. We will never surrender but there will be other wars." Oh goodie—promise??). My apologies to the supporters of Ron Paul, but me thinks the boy doesn't stand a chance. I guess McCain is the best of the bunch, although his war stance and his abortion statements make me rather twitchy.

Looking back to Saturday's primary in South Carolina:

Congratulations to the democrats in South Carolina. Not only did you come out and vote, you came out in record numbers. The state Democratic party estimated that more than 530,000 people voted. The previous Saturday's Republican primary only drew 445,000. Not too shabby my neighbors to the south, not too shabby.

Now I have to take a moment to lament the third place finish of my favorite John Edwards. I know that he is not leaving the race, but the odds of him being the candidate are truly slipping away. As my favorite, that really makes me sad.

However, like others whose follow-up commentary I have been perusing, I am very excited by the fact that Obama so soundly won. I know that seems contradictory considering the previous paragraph, but what I mean is that it is nice that there is no way to "parse" the victory. Obama simply won. Hands down. End of story.

And if you missed Obama's victory speech, have a listen. I know some of you have mentioned that you don't like/trust Obama for different reasons, and despite my admiration for Edwards, dang can Obama give a speech! My fave part is the end—it gives me chills—when he says, "Don't tell me we can't change; yes we can!" The audience chants "Yes we can!" behind him, it is truly something.

One more caveat though: regardless of Obama's resounding win, you can't count out Clinton or Edwards for sure yet. To win the nomination, the candidate needs over 2,000 delegates. So far Clinton is in the lead with just under 250 delegates. That is a long way off from 2,000. There is still much up in the air in this race.

And as Dubya prepares for tonight's State of the Union (the last of his presidency) I wish I could save his time and our ears by just having him say "Shitty" and end the whole thing early, but I guess that is not in the cards.

So instead I will leave you with this quote from our "feckless" leader which offers all the more reason why he needs to leave the Oval Office—

"See, one of the interesting things in the Oval Office—I love to bring people into the Oval Office—right around the corner from here—and say, this is where I office, but I want you to know the office is always bigger than the person."

In this case, Mr. President, the office is WAY bigger than the president and it is my hope that you won't be "officing" in it much longer.