The Old Man and the VP

I have put it off as long as I could, actually doing some work, then lunch, and finally some more work and now I am just going to have to suck it up and watch McCain's little tirade from last night.

Let's discuss.

First, did they really put a green screen behind him again? Stephen Colbert is going to be ALL over this one, "my friends." Nope, it is just the lawn of some big ass house? What is that place?

And there was a protester saying McCain voted against vets. AWESOME! All the USA chanting is making me feel like I am at some sort of youth rally for the army. Dude has seven kids, put that with Palin's and they have a softball team!

I do have to give his mom props—she is a SPRY 96. Course, he has to mention her age to make himself appear less decrepit. 

Wow, he actually said something nice about Obama, a backhanded, I'm-more-patriotic-then-you way. And on cue, the screen changes to a giant, billowing American flag behind him, in case you missed the point.

Oh goodie, looks like a Code Pink-er got in and tried to disrupt things. When did John McCain lose the ability to smile with sincerity? He said how all Americans want is for our government to stand by our side and not in our way. Well, no that isn't exactly true. Sometimes I think that government has to do more than just stand idly by. Sometimes they need to step in to fix things, or regulate matters. 

When Mac talks about "change coming" I would love to know how he thinks he is different from Bush's last eight years. Great you are going to keep your word, but that still doesn't tell me what you will DO. I just saw some dude with a sign that said reform. Wtf? How does the GOP think they can cozy up to Dubya and yet say they want reform? Am I the only one that sees this as as giant disconnect?

He talks about how the surge in Iraq helped the troops not be demoralized. Really? You think that those people who have been over there four or five times, and their families who are left behind, aren't demoralized?

Next we get the litany of "real" people stories, who McCain fights for. Now what he is going to do to make their lives better, I am not clear on. Wait, he is going to make sure we remain safe from our enemies. Golly, I feel safer already. He wants to restore the pride and principles of his party. Good luck with that. "We lost the trust of the American people." So Johnny are you saying you fucked up but please give you another four years, because this time you swear you will get it right? I feel like I am listening to a junkie promising that this time he REALLY will stay away from the smack.

Now he tells me we are all God's children. And the Republicans believe in spending discipline. Gotta say that the last eight years don't do that much to back that claim up.

Truly, WTF? Government that doesn't make choices for us, but works to make sure we have more choices to make for ourselves??? I can't believe a bolt from the sky didn't strike him then and there. The GOP doesn't want us to have choices. They want us to all be cookie cutter evangelicals who only eat white bread and have missionary position sex with a person of the opposite, but only if we are married to them and only to breed. Dear barbara.

Now he is getting to a bit of substance, but nothing indepth, just platitudes followed by boos with every mention of what Obama will supposedly do. Talking about healthcare, honey, a bureaucrat already stands between me and getting healthcare, who are you kidding? 

Interesting that McCain is going into detail about schools. He does seem to be the first speaker I have heard all week that actually brought up anything policy related. When he talks about sending $700 billion to countries that don't like us, is he aware that he is referring to Iraq and therefore vis-a-vis the surge. Oops! Apparently that comment was directed to the countries we buy oil from. Time for the drilling chant again and the whole nuke/clean coal nonsense.

Time to show the world again how Americans lead? Something tells me that if McCain is elected, the "world" isn't going to give a flying flip for the US, much less be interested in seeing us lead.

OH  GOODIE! Now we get to the part where he tries to scare people with all the boogeymen out there who are coming to get us. Good thing Russia invaded Georgia because he even gets to through in the threat of another Cold War and the possibility of Soviet world dominance. 

He wants to change the way the government does almost everything. Now that is a tall order mister. Set a new standard for transparency, well that shouldn't be too hard considering currently our government is shrouded in pea soup fog.

And yes, one last I-was-a-POW and that makes me special shout out. This hand is played maverick. Time to get a new trick. You know, my father served almost two tours in Vietnam. He was a helicopter mechanic, so I don't think he saw much "action" but I honestly don't know, because he doesn't talk about it. How many Vietnam vets do you know that run off at the mouth about the experience?

You know, I just realized, that while several of the Democratic speeches brought a tear to my eye, there wasn't anything in any of the GOP speeches that made me emotional in that way. They all seemed too snarky or angry or contrived. Maybe I am just more cynical about the Republicans.

I am glad that McCain feels that America saved him, but I think he summed up the crux of the problem with him when he said this: "And I will fight for her for as long as I draw breath, so help me God." I am not sure that America needs to be fought for in the way he seems to be implying. Especially if you go back to his earlier argument that our legislators need to be less partisan, shouldn't we stop fighting and learn to get along and work together? Shouldn't we start being offensive, about things like the environment and energy, rather than continue to be defensive and just react when we are pushed into a corner. Then again, Bush and his buddies thought they were being offensive in regards to Iraq, so maybe the GOP doesn't do offense so well.

Well that is 49 minutes of my life I will never get back. I must really be devoted to you people to have watched all the GOP speeches I watched this week. I think I have taken about 10 years off of my life and raised my blood pressure 20 points.

Oops!

I forgot to listen to Mitt Romney's speech. Something tells me that I am not the only person in the country that has tried to block him out of their memories.

But Can She Lead Our Country?

Yeah, yeah, she can field dress a moose; she can ride a motorcycle; she can raise a family and serve as governor. Sarah Palin may be running for vice president or lobbying for a role in the next Superman movie, sometimes it is hard to tell. But don't question her experience, that is sexist!

Seriously, what did the self-described hockey mom have to say last night. (And yes the image is totally fake and photoshopped, but I think it is a riot. So there.) Near the beginning I thought she was going to break into her version of Turn, Turn, Turn by the Byrds. "There's a time for blah, blah, blah."

Then we got the family introductions. No Palin, your family isn't typical. Most people don't have five children. Or a mom that is governor. But none of that matters in terms of you being vice president. And while I am glad that your parents taught you girls can do anything, I have my doubts as to whether your tenure as vp, should you win, would give girls those same choices and values. So we are 10 minutes into a 36 minute speech and nothing about why she should be a heartbeat away from the oval office. 

(Just an aside, Palin's youngest daughter licking her hand and flattening her baby brother's hair was a riot!!!!) 

And then the pit bull in lipstick decided to get her two cents in about how a community organizer is a fluffy, do nothing job, but a small town mayor, now that is something! 

See, she's just like us! She drives herself to work! She got rid of the governor's chef. And during it all she balanced Alaska's budget. Thanks, but no thanks to the bridge to nowhere? Well that isn't exactly true, she did back it at first. But now she is against it, so that is ok! Just imagine what she could accomplish if she had two more years as governor!!

Oil, oil, oil. Russia's using energy as a weapon. We gotta drill people! This is from a gal that knows the north slope of Alaska! So you can trust what she says. Clean coal? That's an oxymoron. Good luck building those nuclear plants. Wanna put one in your back yard?

Palin refers to Obama as her "opponent." Yeah, wouldn't want to humanize him by using his name would you? Then she started in on Obama never saying the word victory in regards to Iraq. Perhaps, because that is not a situation we can win? She asks what Obama seeks to accomplish and cracks on him as some sort of biblical, Moses-like figure. Classy. What does she want to do?  Twenty five minutes in and I haven't heard a real answer about that except the aforementioned drilling. She says government is too big and spends too much. Well who has been in power for the last eight years? Republicans. Even with the 2006 election shifting the House and Senate to the Democrats, the majority in the Senate isn't even enough to overcome a presidential veto. So the Republicans are still calling the shots.

John McCain wants to promote change? Don't make me laugh. The man has marched in lock step with Dubya for the last eight years. That isn't exactly a maverick change-maker in the works. She says that only one man has fought for us. That doesn't fly with me. He may have fought a war, a war that ended the year I was born, but he hasn't fought for me. And he certainly won't fight for me should he be elected president. Because I am not in the middle class who make less than $5 million (well yes, I do make less than $5 million, much, much less). I don't think that drilling for more oil is the answer to our energy crisis or global warming. And I don't think it is right to eavesdrop on our citizens without a warrant, or invade a country because we are bored. I think 17 year old girls should have the choice of whether or not to have a baby or terminate her pregnancy. And yes, I think that my gay and lesbian neighbors should be allowed to marry—ain't gonna impact my marriage.

I just hope that McCain actually details some of what he WILL DO if he is elected. Because this speech offered no details about that.

Here's the nut-nut: She's got charm and she can speak. She has the GOP's condescension-speak down pat too. I just hope that the undecided voters out there don't fall for her cutesy jokes, back combed bouffant and rhetoric that says nothing.

Me? Angry?

Why yeah, maybe I am. So if Dubya wants to consider me a member of the angry left, I will cop to that.

But enough about me . . . on to the GOP. I feel like I have just been through some sort of right re-orientation effort. I watched Bush's taped speech (dude stuck to the script and didn't sound too stupid, for once, but it wasn't exactly the Gettysburg Address), then Fred Thompson (had to bring an actor in to sell the lines I suppose and yes, I have always longed for my VP to know how to field dress a moose, that should come in handy). Of course the crux of Thompson's speech was detailing McCain's history, particularly his war injuries and his time as a prisoner of war. He told some cutesy stories about McCain being a rebel and troublemaker at the Naval Academy. I guess I am just over it. I admit I am not the most objective at this point, but I am SO tired of having his military service rammed down my throat. Yes, he served; yes he was a prisoner of war; but there are a lot of men walking our streets today who served and our country has neglected them. So don't hold up McCain like he is something special.

Ah Joe Lieberman—no dude you really hurt me and if you are a member of my larger family I would make you sit outside at Thanksgiving and eat in the cold.  Last I checked you were an "independent," not a democrat. And for God's sake Joe, stop giggling. Then he spoke directly to me and "my anger." Nope, not thinking of voting for McCain. Yep, never voted for a Republican for President. Yep, no ordinary election. Nope, McCain strikes me as an ordinary candidate. And don't worry Joe I WILL be voting for the person I believe is best for our country and that person continues to be a democrat.

Ok Mike, what you got for me? There it is, that twinkly charm! I do hate to cop to any of you GOP-ers being charming. And then you had to go and slam Madonna. Not cool, dude. Chick is 50 and still has it. Next the Huckster tried to co-op the word change and scare people with "European" ideas (quite the pop culture icon too, referring to Obama's European trip as his excellent adventure). Yep, I find those terrifying myself. But not as terrifying as Lava soap. Or your testament that Republicans are hands dirty, up by their bootstraps, heavy laborers that wouldn't dream of asking for any help EVER from the federal government. And good, god damn, again with McCain's inability to lift his arms above his head, you and Thompson should have discussed which one was going to harp on that nugget in advance.

Up next, Rudy Giuliani. Shocker, they put the skyline of NYC behind him—nice touch. I thought is was especially classy when Giuliani mocked Obama's experience as a community organizer, like that is somehow akin to being an idiot or slacker. And again with the snickery laughing. Do they teach that in young Republican school? 

Rudy harped on Obama being the least experienced candidate saying he has led "nada." How many senators have gone on to become presidents in our country exactly? Seven. Do you consider that none of those led anything? But less than two years as governor of a state with a population (670,000) that is less than the state of Rhode Island's (just over 1 million) qualifies you? "Change is not a destination, just as hope is not a strategy." But giving grannies heart attacks in their tapioca that some "Islamofacist" is coming to get them, that's a sound way to campaign? "Drill Baby, Drill." Yes Rudy it is INCORRECT to say Islamic terrorism. Not all followers of Islam are terrorist and it is unfair to paint the entire religion with that brush. No that is a chant folks! It amazes me that the GOP thinks that there is a victory to be had out there against terrorists. Pompous blow hole. If Palin represents a new generation, what does Obama represent who is only a couple of years older? Hold me back, she has been a mayor of a VERY small town; but this condescension towards Obama is beyond distasteful. Talk about his record, his experience, whatever, but you don't have to be snotty about it. If the facts aren't enough, then maybe he is a good candidate and your's isn't. Excuse me, I need go vomit while Rudy gets sanctimonious about the anti-sexism the GOP demonstrates. And I have a bridge to nowhere in Alaska that I can sell you.

But the biggest shocker of all? He only mentioned September 11th one time. They must have attached electrodes to his balls and threatened to shock him if he said it too many times. 

I think Palin's little ditty deserves its own post. The brain washing continues, damn my head is starting to hurt. Next!

Forgive Me Father, I Have Sinned

Well yes, but this is probably a minor one in my rap sheet.

I tried to watch last night, I really did. I got about a minute into Congressman John Boehner's speech and he started talking about people in caves who were out to get us and I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't listen to the right's efforts to fear monger. 

This morning on NPR on my way into work I heard a snippet from Fred Thompson's speech about how the media is being unfair to Palin and how she is a reformer with a capital R.

And about that. Friend of the blog, Chad Boulet, commented on a previous post about his head exploding over the fact that no one seems to be talking about important things like the war and the economy. And I wholeheartedly agree. But meanwhile, my own head may combust if I hear the words reformer or maverick mentioned again, especially in reference to Palin or McCain.

Per Merriam-Webster online:

Reformer—one that works for or urges reform.

Reform—1 a: to put or change into an improved form or condition b: to amend or improve by change of form or removal of faults or abuses
2: to put an end to (an evil) by enforcing or introducing a better method or course of action
3: to induce or cause to abandon evil ways
4 a: to subject (hydrocarbons) to cracking b: to produce (as gasoline or gas) by cracking
intransitive verb: to become changed for the better

Maverick—1: an unbranded range animal; especially : a motherless calf
2: an independent individual who does not go along with a group or party

Palin hasn't even served as Alaska's governor for two years yet; I would say the jury is still out on her "reformer" capabilities, especially since she is already under investigation for misdeeds.

So far as McCain and his "maverick" status. The man has done nothing but tow the GOP line and kiss Dubya's ass since his own behind was handed to him on a platter in the 2000 election. McCain has voted 90% of the time or more with Bush's policies. Does 10% make you a maverick?

So my plan was to go online and find the important speeches and listen to them today, but I have been quite busy with work and couldn't bring myself to do it. I promise I will be all caught up and opinionated on it all tomorrow.

Lovely Ladies

I will give Laura Bush and Cindy McCain the benefit of the doubt, they are probably lovely ladies. But their public speaking skills leave something to be desired, especially Laura Bush. Cindy McCain seemed far more comfortable in terms of addressing the audience, although considering she spoke for about two minutes it is hard to give a valid assessment. But hey, at least Laura Bush got to acknowledged all the great governors in the Gulf Coast states. I wonder if they weren't all Republicans if she would be referring to them as "great?"

Then Rick Perry, Governor of Texas, referred to the states as Republican states. UGH! And that these Republican governors are taking care of these people. Wonder if the residents of New Orleans feel the same? Gosh knows the Democratic governor Blanco who served during 

Katrina felt the same love dealing with that horrific crisis?

I know it is wrong of me as an avowed feminist to say this, but I 

just can't help myself—Cindy McCain is a Barbie doll brought to life!

Today, supposedly the Republican Convention will get back on track, so to speak, after being somewhat derailed by Hurricane Gustav. I wonder how sad the convention is that Bush and Cheney won't be speaking now?

Finally, I have to wonder, are the Republican convention attendees just more sedate than the Democratic folks or do they just have less to be excited about? Laura Bush did get a good round of applause when she first came out, but otherwise, things struck me as a bit tepid.