The service was Baptist and in a more rural location. The funeral home that hosted the visitation had several other viewings going on at the same time. It was definitely not my element. The crowd outside the funeral home smoking were a country set to say the least and I was actually a bit uncomfortable and waited to go in until friends showed up. But then a friend, Big T I think it was, made a reference to my father, who most definitely came from a country set. And that got me to thinking on the drive home.
My mom's background was most solidly middle class in a typical 1950s way, at least that is my impression. But my dad's was working class, blue collar poor, no two ways about it. And here I sit in all my WASPy glory conveniently denying that half of my dna is firmly grounded in this working class, poor background. If you were speaking in evolutionary terms, I am merely an amphibian traversing betwixt and between the primordial sludge and dry land. Yet there I was in my skirt and heels looking down my nose at people dressed in jeans and t-shirts, all of us in this place to either mourn or comfort those who are mourning. Frankly, I have no right.
Don't fret, I am bringing this back to the political. So all this self reflection and analysis got me thinking about what parts of ourselves we repress when it comes to political issues—both for the average voters and for those actually running for office. Of course nowadays it is harder than ever to deny bits of your past. In our 24-hour, seven-day a week media world, there is no escaping a camera and a listening ear. The flip side is how much does where we come from influence our political thinking? While there are certainly rich people who are democrats and who want to give back and give a leg up to the poor, there are also plenty of people born to privilege who have no interest in sharing the wealth. And there are people from poorer backgrounds who are solid republicans seemingly unaware that the GOP's tax breaks rarely affect their income.
So what about you? Are there parts of your background that you try to ignore or move past and how has that influenced your political stances?
7 comments:
oh new anon - don't fret. columbia, sc is really the arm pit. Sparkle city is just a backwoods of inbreeding. regardless, you are reading this blog, so surely your parents did raise you right!
I don't know, I would still cringe a little bit at jeans at a funeral. But then ... if you look at my husband's family (probably similar to the background you're talking about), you would see lots of jeans. For me it's a respect thing; for them it's just how they feel most comfortable. And that has required a mind shift on my part -- it's either get comfortable with jeans at Christmas dinner or spend the next 40 years in a permanent cringe.
I think my mom (the WASPiest Catholic you've ever met) is terrified that her future grandchildren will end up taking after the other side of the family -- like she (and I) will have failed if my kids end up saying "ain't" and watching too much TV. Which is troubling, because you would expect her, as a Democrat, to respect the working class and to work at not being a snob. I mean, a generation or two ago, her own family was working-class; how is working for the railroad any better than working in a mill or a factory?
I don't know if all that relates to politics but it's what your post made me think of. Very interesting topic.
Hey Broad Minded, thought I'd check out your blog. I'm not very political, so I may not have much to add. But this one intrigued me.
I live here in GSO like you. But when I travel for business to cool places like NYC, LA or recently Portland, OR...I am quick to tell people I am really from Atlanta, because they think I'm a hick from small town NC. But to be honest, I've been here almost 20 years, so most would say I have to admit I'm from here. My upbringing was nothing special. Middle class. My clothes came from Sears and I had the fake Adidas with 4 stripes. But my dad made big about the time I went off to state college. So I never reaped the benefits my little sister did, private school, a huge house in the swanky neighborhood, a car when she turned 16, Europe after she graduated from high school.
I've worked for everything I've ever gotten. No help from family. No breaks at work. I'm kinda glad I did it on my own. No matter your background it's what you've achieved and where you are now that matters isn't it? Conversely, there are a lot of folks with all the social advantages that have done nothing with them and give nothing back. I'm proud that I've done okay and I shouldn't care what people may think of where I'm from or not from (but I admit I still do).
So even those folks at the funeral with whom you were afraid to mingle, it's more about their wanting to be there in support and respect of someone who had passed than their wardrobe and background. You are a friendly and kind person. It's probably more your shyness and the difficult circumstances that prevented you from finding common ground to make a connection.
And besides, it was probably their "good" jeans.
Ms. Anon
marian, yes jeans still don't seem right, on that i will agree. sometimes being respectful means not being comfortable. just the way it is.
ms. anon, thanks for checking things out. hope you keep visiting. and me shy????
Your profile says, and I quote "... I am selfish. And I am shy..."
:)
yes, yes it does. you got me.
Ouch, ouch, you're making me think REALLY hard!
I don't know that this has been a conscious, intentional thing, but I do feel my current political leanings are light years beyond what either of my parents might feel. If anything was/is intentional, I have tried to move past some of the racist stances held by my dad's family. My mom has always been more open-minded, so I suppose that did affect me as a kid.
Even though I tend to be quiet, I've always had my own opinions, and they frequently haven't reflected my upbringing. Which must mean I was kidnapped!
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