Black and Blue

I have been remiss in my feminist duties by not commenting yet on the horrible events surrounding Rihanna and Chris Brown. Some of the comments from the media and from celebrities have been deeply disturbing and frankly a bit scary.

Domestic violence is a serious issue, one that many people are loathe to handle. It makes us uncomfortable and lord knows most of us have a tendency to shy away from that which isn't neat and pretty and tied up with a bow. It doesn't matter if "she" started it. Nor should a woman face any stigma for having been the victim of abuse. She didn't ask for it and Rihanna certainly didn't ask for the photos taken of her injuries by the police to be leaked. That was a vile invasion of privacy.

NOW highlights some information on violence against women:

Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. According to the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, women experience about 4.8 million intimate partner-related physical assaults and rapes every year. Less than 20 percent of battered women sought medical treatment following an injury.

What does this breaks down to? Twenty two percent of women surveyed for a 2000 Department of Justice reported being a victim of physical assault. That equals out to 1.3 million women a year in the United States who are victims of abuse. For more answers about domestic violence, visit here.

I have friends and family who have been victims of abuse. I have seen and heard how hard it is for them to distance themselves from a man that says he loves them, yet continues to physically harm them. It is so hard to see someone you love try to separate themselves from a situation that is tearing them down inside and out. 

Abusers need help. The abused must never be vilified or blamed. We can never truly say that women are equal in our society until this issue stops being seen as shameful or as something to be hidden. Instead abuse against women needs to be confronted and punished accordingly. No woman living in fear of physical harm to herself or her children is free. And for those of us who have been lucky enough to have never been abused (and I say lucky, because even strong, powerful, intelligent women are abused everyday, this is not merely a problem for the uneducated or weak), we can never truly consider ourselves free either so long as other women live in fear and pain.