Thoughts on Infidelity

Salon has a new reader forum called Open Salon. I haven't poked around much, but apparently readers can post things, etc. sort of like an open blog. Salon editor Joan Walsh was digesting the John Edwards news and referenced something from Open Salon that was posted by a woman whose husband was a cancer survivor. This lady's comments, as someone who has dealt with that kind of emotional upheaval and trauma, made me re-evaluate my thoughts on Edwards. I am still pissed as hell, but perhaps my expectations are too high. [After all my horoscope yesterday told me to "Let go of idealistic notions about how people should behave."]

An excerpt:

"Both partners may be just sick to death of sickness. And that's the first thing my husband said when I mentioned John Edwards' confession. He said, maybe Edwards had an affair because he just wanted things to be normal again. Maybe he was tired of cancer and treatment.

"My first thought was that maybe one or both of them just couldn't see a way to reconnect erotically after breast cancer. Speaking only for myself again, when I had a scare with an unclear mammogram -- one that took months to clear up -- I felt profoundly alienated from my body as a source of pleasure. And I didn't even have cancer, just a bad case of paranoia!

"Maybe having an affair when your spouse has just faced down mortality is a way of affirming your own survival. Maybe it's a form of denial about your partner's mortality, and your own. This might be just an extension of the stereotypical mid-life crisis -- but cranked up to eleven.

"And maybe, with the pressures of raising two young kids and running for president the Edwards[es] just hadn't yet figured out how to be a couple together again. My husband and I struggled enough, and we only had two little kids and a couple of university jobs.

"In the end, why John Edwards strayed will remain a mystery to everyone outside his family, and that's only right. They deserve their privacy. Elizabeth has asked for privacy as they work through this. A marriage should remain a mystery to everyone outside it."

Infidelity in the News

I am equal parts outraged and saddened at the news that John Edwards did in fact have an affair several years ago.

Not only did I truly admire the man, but his wife has proven to be an inspiration and to see her spirit and devotion to him and their shared causes disrespected in such an appalling manner truly shakes my belief in the goodness of people.

I can't imagine what Edwards was thinking that justified such actions and I am heart sick that on top of her illness and the tragedy of her son, Wade's death, Elizabeth Edwards has had to also deal with infidelity. Her decision to stay with her husband is hers alone and I make no judgements on that. My disdain is reserved exclusively for her husband. I am not sure I will be able to so quickly forgive or forget.

By the Numbers

506

The number of vacation days Bush has taken thus far in his almost 8 years in office.

134

The number of visits Bush has made since taking office (actually a record for any president).

Jon Stewart cited these numbers the other day on The Daily Show and then asked if maybe Bush just didn't like being in the White House after all? Makes you wonder.

Feminist Rant

Normally I don't post from home because frankly I spend enough time in front of the computer at work everyday, but today I arrived home and within the days' mail was a wedding announcement from my cousin. It was addressed to the X's. I will give you a moment while you figure out what is wrong with that.

Everybody got it? Yep, I didn't change my last name when the husband and I married. There is no Mrs. in the house. I am a MS.!!!! When I got the wedding announcement from this cousin and his prospective bride, I was cool, they didn't know. So I sent a note, with my full name on the return address. The wedding present I ordered from Target came from me, my credit card, again with my full name on the packing slip. And yet, it still hasn't sunk in.

Listen, I am not such a feminist nazi that I can't cut people some slack. I try to smile at the old people who think my son is a girl because he doesn't have a crew cut. I give people one shot to get my name wrong before I expect them to correct themselves on the assumption that I blissfully turned my back on the name that took me through college, grad school, the first five years of my career and the first 29 years of my life. This is, after all, the 21st century folks. Shouldn't we be asking about these things by now and not ASSUMING? And I do assume that if you are family you might catch on to this a bit quicker, especially if the person is themselves under the age of 30.

But then people still think it is appropriate to sound saddened when a woman over 30 tells them she isn't married or to give the same reaction to a married woman over 40 who doesn't have kids. Sometimes these are choices people, not cruel twists of fate. And if by chance they are cruel twists of fate, well here is some lemon juice that you can pour on that wound that you just stabbed repeatedly. Dear God they should be teaching etiquette and manners in school nowadays.

Don't assume people, or as my least favorite boss used to be oh-so fond of telling me "You make an ass of you and me."

Hitting the Rim

Many moons ago, the Bush White House "discovered" a letter from Iraqi security chief Tahir Jalil Habbush to Saddam Hussein. The letter showed a link between al-Qaida and Saddam Hussein—Mohammad Atta (lead man on September 11) had trained in Iraq and  al-Qaida had been involved with some mysterious shipments from Niger to Iraq, which were believed to contain yellow cake uranium. Dubya and the boys (sorry Condi) viewed this as the "slam dunk" they needed to make their case for invading Iraq.

As Ron Suskind has been so kind to back up with fact what many of us have long believed, this letter wasn't quite kosher. Point of fact, it was a bald-faced lie. This week his book, The Way of the World: A Story of Truth and Hope in an Age of Extremism, detailing the events leading up to this letter as well as the aftermath was published. Suskind's sources are two former CIA officials—Rob Richer and John Maguire— who have said CIA Director George Tenet ordered them to create the forged document. And yes he has the men's interviews on tape.

Richer and Maguire have made a statement. First from Richer:

I never received direction from George Tenet or anyone else in my chain of command to fabricate a document ... as outlined in Mr. Suskind's book. 

Richer, the CIA's former deputy director of clandestine operations, then added that he had spoken with Maguire (former head of the CIA's Iraq Operations Group at the time), currently in Iraq on a consultant basis, who gave permission to state the following on his behalf:

I never received any instruction from then Chief/NE Rob Richer or any other officer in my chain of command instructing me to fabricate such a letter. Further, I have no knowledge to the origins of the letter and as to how it circulated in Iraq.

And of course the Bush folk issued their own statement, courtesy of the White House deputy press secretary Tony Fratto. "The notion that the White House directed anyone to forge a letter from Habbush to Saddam Hussein is absurd."

Bless Dennis Kucinich's heart. He must be salivating over the possibility of his impeachment motions against Bush and Cheney actually gaining some traction. Now of course, between the denials of the sources and no smoking gun other than said sources memories, those less inclined to believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy might cry foul over Suskind's allegations.

But really folks, do you put anything past Dubya and the boys at this point? Ain't nothing straight about those boys except the creases in their pants. They are crooked and would lie to their own mothers.

Now if the Bush administration had actually paid attention to what Habbush, their source was saying, rather than what they wanted him to say, it looks like we could have avoided this whole debacle (not that avoiding war was ever something Dubya was interested in–he had a stiffie to be a "War Time President" as soon as the Supreme Court handed him the keys to the White House). Suskind notes that in January 2003 (the letter appeared in September of the same year) Habbush told British Intelligence that Saddam's nuclear program and chemical weapon stockpile were a thing of the past–the distant past, Saddam kibboshed them TWELVE years earlier.

Tenet's response to this news, "They're (the Bush Administration) not going to like this downtown." The information that Habbush supplied went away.

Salon offers a pretty even handed review of the book, which is about much more, good and bad, than this one episode—in fact the forged letter gotcha doesn't appear until page 370.

And last night's Countdown with Keith Olbermann had an exclusive with Suskind as well, it is about 13 minutes long if you have the time.

Tuesday Filler

Gentle readers, I am brain dead and bored. Not a pretty combination. Perhaps it was the bacchanalia of the spawn's birthday this weekend. Perhaps it was the fine dining experience I enjoyed last evening. Perhaps it is because I am a lazy git. No matter the cause, the end result is I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.

And yet I feel guilt at the recent sporadic spate of my posts.

So to honor your continued devotion, I bring you this snippet from an episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart last week. Enjoy. After all, tomorrow is another day.

Race Days

We all knew it was a matter of time, but I kind of thought that things might hold steady on the race issue until closer to the election. But au contraire. It would seem that the end of July was a fitting time for both camps to declare the race card played.

Now I am not sure that I buy that either McCain or Obama have really brought race into things. I will say that I think McCain has been reading a bit too much from Rove's playbook before bedtime, he has gone negative after pledging not to back in April. David Shuster commented in the last several days on MSNBC that they only chance McCain has in this election is to go negative.

Frankly I don't get why people fall for this. Do you really want to live your life ruled by your fears? Let's face it, the economy blows right now, something I believe is the creation of Bush's tax cuts to the wealthy. After all that trickle down shit didn't work in the 80s with Reagan, why in hell did Dubya think it would work for him? Oh wait, he didn't, he just didn't care as long as his buddies, and more importantly his donors, were getting richer.

Life is too short, in my opinion, to be walking around like chicken little. I would rather be optimistic and hope that with some effort we can make things better and fall on my face, then sit back like the McCain camp and just assume that everything is shit and always will be, so vote Republican. Not a ringing endorsement for these ears.

But back to race. The other thing that has been bugging me all week is this talk after Obama's European tour that he is arrogant and "uppity." I have lived in the south my entire life and I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that "uppity" is just white code for a black person thinking they are as good as the white man. And God forbid any black person think they are worthy of the office of president. Like how when you say something negative about someone but soften it by first saying "Bless her heart." For instance, "My brother, bless is heart, isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer." All that means is my brother is a dip shit, albeit a blessed one.

Look we have had someone in office for over seven years now who treats it like a joke, isn't it time we had someone who took the job seriously? Wasn't the whole point of Obama's trip to show that he was president material? And then the press and others want to blast him for acting too presidential? I give up.